Today we decided to wake up at 4:30 am and not go back to sleep. So, here we are, 5:00 in the morning and playing. I see an opportunity to write a bit.
My family is awesome. They are so great, they have all stepped in to take care of joy on a regular basis so I can have some "me time" or whatever. Lately, what I've decided to do with all this time is work. You know, for money. I have one of those odd skillsets that allows me to take on small, "catch as catch can" contract jobs. The one I am referring to now has been going on for about a month and is almost done. The customer and I are going through what is called "acceptance testing"today, wherein all the stuff I installed for them is put through its paces in front of the customer to achieve their satisfaction. Normally, and the last paycheck. This time, I was paid 100% up front, so pay isn't a motivator, just knowing a job well done is, and that's good enough for me.
So, you'd think that we could schedule a regular rhythm of daycare, working, testing, etc etc to make this a painless experience, right? Maybe if I were an organized person. As it turns out, I'm an airhead, so we now have a painful experience. It's a direct cause and effect relationship. What is so hard about it, you ask? Well, not much really. I mean, all it takes is a memory (I have CRS), an understanding of what's going on generally (airhead, remember?), and a desire and time to organize (that's pretty much a luxury). Case in point: I recently had scheduled a day of work, and the weather turned inclement while I was onsite, and I had to bail (my work was outside and I'm a wimp when it comes to mixing rain with electronics). Just to get to this point, I had to schedule the day with the customer, which required a call to campus security (the work was on a local community college campus), the director of facilities, and the campus electrician. Not to mention a call to my mother in law to schedule daycare. That's four phone calls for one day of work! This is just one more of those aspects of my life that have had to slow down.
I'm grappling with this working bit. I want to be 'out there' working and hopefully making some bucks and contributing. My problem is involving my whole family to do it. They are incredibly supportive and understanding but they're entitled to an unmolested lifestyle, aren't they? Yes they are. So who am I to impose on their generosity just so I can feel better about myself? This is the grappling part. I think maybe once this project is done, I'm going to chill at home and not worry about working for awhile. Afterall, my little girl needs her daddy, and that's enough work for me for now. She deserves my undivided attention. I think it's time to cut the chaos and get back to basics. Maybe I'll find the satisfaction that I get while on the job working for my kiddo.
She's done playing for the moment and ready to go back to sleep, and so am I, so off we go.
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